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The prospect of traveling to a foreign country while pregnant was a little unsettling for me. However, it was made clear to me by Dr. Nuckolls (the professor who heads this BYU Study Abroad program) that I would be well taken care of and that the medical care in India was more than satisfactory in many ways. My doctor in Provo also told me that based on my health and low-risk factors, she deemed it was safe for me to travel. Trusting these assurances, in addition to Divine assurances, Craig I went forward and came to India.
Thankfully, everyone's assurances proved to be true. I have been continually blessed to have an easy pregnancy in general and I have been well taken care of. This post is more about what it has been like for me as an American pregnant woman in India and my observations on Indian culture.
Indians have many beliefs about pregnancy and how a pregnant woman should act. Some of these beliefs would seem very superstitious to the Western mind. A note on superstition--Craig has discovered from his research project that if you ask anyone if they have any superstitions (in his case, he is asking about superstitions within the game of Cricket) they will adamantly say, "No." Then they will immediately proceed to tell you about the rituals they practice that lead to doing well or winning a game, which technically fall under the definition of superstitions. We have superstitions in our sports culture too (wearing the same lucky socks over and over, for instance). The point is, culturally it is looked down on to be a superstitious person, and yet many Indians are superstitious anyway, without admitting that to themselves or others. Indians are especially defensive about it because they perceive that others view them as a traditionally superstitious culture. If you asked an upper-caste person about superstitions, they would probably say it is something only "socially backwards" people in India subscribe to (referring to lower castes). Yes, people use the term "socially backwards" a lot here. It has always rubbed my politically-correct-side the wrong way.
In regards to pregnancy, one belief is that you must NOT eat papaya while pregnant. No one can really tell me why, but it is totally taboo. Dr. Krishnayya (our local supervisor here) told me that if I want I can ignore that, but I told him I would live as other Indians live (to some extent) while I'm here so as not to cause any alarm. I'm glad I made that decision, because on one occasion our kitchen staff members asked me with concerned expressions, "Did you eat the papaya?" after they had served it one day. I was glad I could tell them, "No," to alleviate their anxiety on my behalf.
Indians also have strict beliefs about how active a woman should be while pregnant. I was told that I must never be seen skipping, running, or anything like that, which makes sense. I'm not exactly in the mood for bouncing movements of any kind right now. However, on the topic of physical activity I have received contradictory pieces of advice. Some women seem to think that I should rest all of the time, while others seem to think it is perfectly fine for me to walk 30 minutes every night when it's cooler (which I've been doing lately). When we have been on outings with our translators, they immediately tell me I should sit down whenever there is an opportunity, and yet at other times they have walked long distances with us in the heat and don't seem to be concerned about me at all.
People here are also very concerned about movements that would sort of crush the baby, like sit ups or crunches. In Western culture, we are also told to avoid doing exercises while lying flat on the back after the 1st trimester, so that resonated with me. When I was taking yoga here in January, my instructor would always have me do one leg at a time when we were doing various leg exercises while lying on my back so that I wouldn't strain myself too much. I was grateful for her concern and awareness of me.
Here are some pictures of my yoga class that I forgot to post back in January:
Our instructor:
One of my neighbors (a young mother herself) once told me, "I saw you sitting on the steps/stairs while waiting. You should not sit like that. It will hurt your baby." As you can by now tell, Indians feel it is an expression of care and love to give unsolicited advice. In fact if they don't, you may well assume they don't care about you and you should be hurt by that. Dr. Krishnayya frequently scolds the kitchen staff, but we were told that this is a sign that he deeply cares about them and wants them to do well. We should never think that he is being rude. Anyway, I didn't really know how to respond to her comment. I know that it was perfectly fine for me to sit down on the steps for a bit without hurting my baby, but I guess here they don't like that. It made me think about how we have our own beliefs in Western culture about healthy pregnancies that we consider infallible, and yet they do too. Who is right? I obviously tend to favor my own cultural beliefs, many of which I believe to be based on science, and so it is hard for me to be unbiased here. All of this has definitely made me more aware of my own cultural biases and favoritism, you could say.
Another belief is that you should wear the bangles from your Seemantham until you deliver your baby. The bangles ward off evil and your baby will enjoy the jingling sound they make. This practice comes from Hinduism. However, whenever I have seen other pregnant women at my doctor's appointments, not many of them are wearing bangles, so I don't think it's a tradition that is taken very seriously. As for myself, my bangles only lasted about a week. I just enjoy having my wrists free! I am a minimalist when it comes to jewelry.
Overall, I feel like Indian beliefs regarding pregnancy are a combination of medical advice and superstition or Hindu traditions. Sometimes it is hard to separate one from the other. Regarding physical exercise I remember several times during yoga classes asking myself, "Is this exercise based on exercise science or is it just tradition?" because some of the exercises we did don't intuitively seem good for you (like snorting vigorously in and out each nostril for 100 counts). I have asked the same question when thinking about things I've been told about being pregnant. And then I've thought, how many of my own beliefs about pregnancy are just American tradition? Who knows.
During our stay in India I have visited the doctor 1-2 times a month for check ups and have had 3 ultrasounds. My OB is considered to be the best in the state of Andhra Pradesh. When she enters the waiting room, everyone present stands. She has been very good to me. Her English is pretty good, but sometimes I still don't quite understand everything she is saying, and I don't think she understands everything I am saying. Luckily it has never really mattered as I have mostly been in good health while in India (I got sick from food once). At my checkups I have my blood pressure taken, I am weighed, and then I discuss with my doctor how I am doing. She examines my belly and listens for the heartbeat with a doppler. That is it. It costs 300 rupees, or approximately $5 for this.
My ultrasound experiences have also been good, besides the long waits. There are always a lot of women waiting for ultrasounds and they don't always go in line or in order. The ultrasound technology available here is similar to what was available in America in the '90s. So a little "behind" but good enough for getting the necessary information. Each ultrasound costs 800 rupees, or approximately $14. As many of you know, it is illegal in India for doctors to identify the gender of the fetus. This is because of the female abortion problem. Girls are seen as trouble because of the sometimes all-consuming costs of dowry. Indians will go into grave financial debt because of dowry. When parents are in financially desperate situations, they may be tempted to abort a girl. I think it's a lot better now generally, but the law is still in place.
Anyway, I was told that they may make an exception for us because we are not Indian citizens, so I decided to ask my doctor while he was doing our last ultrasound. The doctor was hesitant at first, but I reiterated that we were foreigners and guests in this country. I also told him I would be very discreet about it. He asked if any child would be welcome in our home, like he needed reassurance, and I gave a resounding yes. I told him that in America, gender does not matter when it comes to excitement about a new baby. He said he knows this, as he apparently worked in Pittsburg for many years. At the end of the ultrasound, he told us we would be having a girl. Since then we have not told anyone in India except our fellow BYU students that we are having a girl. If news were to spread around our neighborhood that our doctor had told us the gender, they might trace that back to the hospital we go to, and then to the doctor. People in our neighborhood love to observe and gossip about us, and so if news got out that I knew I was having a girl, it would spread fast. I would feel forever guilty if that doctor were to suffer any consequences for telling us. But most likely that will not happen, thankfully.
As I have said before, the heat and the food have been my biggest challenges while being in India. Although, if I could rank them I would put food first, because I have been adjusting to the heat quite well actually. My skin likes the humidity. But I have craved American foods to the point of dreaming about them. Even though the food here is good, some of the flavors I have simply never gotten used to. And it's not even that they're spicy, it's just the flavor combinations. Some foods I really like, particularly foods served at dinner. For lunch we have daal and rice everyday and I have had to get used to the monotony of that. In America, women are almost expected to completely pamper themselves while pregnant, for the sake of their sanity and their baby. Midnight smoothie run? "Sure!" You're craving a specific pizza from a specific place today? "Go get it! And don't feel bad about it!"
During this first pregnancy, I have not had the privilege of being able to pamper myself the way I see other pregnant women pampering themselves (thank you, Facebook...), and so I have had to let go of that expectation. I have had to just trust that I am eating well enough, because although in many respects I think we eat healthier here compared to America, I am missing the variety of raw vegetables and protein sources we have in America. I have had to exercise faith that God is taking care of me and I will be okay. My blood levels are normal. I have gained 6-7 pounds in the last 2.5 weeks. Our ultrasounds show that our baby is healthy as can be. From going off of that information, I have to trust that I am okay and not worry about the little comforts I am missing. Psychologically this has been difficult, but every day I think I am strengthened by the Lord's grace to bear my little trials.
Sometimes I wonder what we have done by taking this risk of being in a foreign country while pregnant! If some emergency happened, I'm not sure what kind of care would be available. But then I remember that Craig and I felt good about coming here and that God is in charge and will take care of us and our baby. I just have to trust that. We have about 2 weeks left and I know I can do it. I am striving to live in the present and enjoy the blessings of being here despite how eager I am to be home again, with the comforts of family and good food (I'm kind of obsessed with food right now) around me. I want to be positive and not just endure the next 2 weeks, but enjoy them to the extent that I can.
Thank you family members and friends who have been so supportive throughout this experience we've been having! We feel your love and concern and are so grateful for you : ) If anyone has any specific questions, feel free to ask me! As you can tell, I can go on and on about this stuff : ) The culture here is fascinating to me.
Indians also have strict beliefs about how active a woman should be while pregnant. I was told that I must never be seen skipping, running, or anything like that, which makes sense. I'm not exactly in the mood for bouncing movements of any kind right now. However, on the topic of physical activity I have received contradictory pieces of advice. Some women seem to think that I should rest all of the time, while others seem to think it is perfectly fine for me to walk 30 minutes every night when it's cooler (which I've been doing lately). When we have been on outings with our translators, they immediately tell me I should sit down whenever there is an opportunity, and yet at other times they have walked long distances with us in the heat and don't seem to be concerned about me at all.
People here are also very concerned about movements that would sort of crush the baby, like sit ups or crunches. In Western culture, we are also told to avoid doing exercises while lying flat on the back after the 1st trimester, so that resonated with me. When I was taking yoga here in January, my instructor would always have me do one leg at a time when we were doing various leg exercises while lying on my back so that I wouldn't strain myself too much. I was grateful for her concern and awareness of me.
Here are some pictures of my yoga class that I forgot to post back in January:
Our instructor:
One of my neighbors (a young mother herself) once told me, "I saw you sitting on the steps/stairs while waiting. You should not sit like that. It will hurt your baby." As you can by now tell, Indians feel it is an expression of care and love to give unsolicited advice. In fact if they don't, you may well assume they don't care about you and you should be hurt by that. Dr. Krishnayya frequently scolds the kitchen staff, but we were told that this is a sign that he deeply cares about them and wants them to do well. We should never think that he is being rude. Anyway, I didn't really know how to respond to her comment. I know that it was perfectly fine for me to sit down on the steps for a bit without hurting my baby, but I guess here they don't like that. It made me think about how we have our own beliefs in Western culture about healthy pregnancies that we consider infallible, and yet they do too. Who is right? I obviously tend to favor my own cultural beliefs, many of which I believe to be based on science, and so it is hard for me to be unbiased here. All of this has definitely made me more aware of my own cultural biases and favoritism, you could say.
Another belief is that you should wear the bangles from your Seemantham until you deliver your baby. The bangles ward off evil and your baby will enjoy the jingling sound they make. This practice comes from Hinduism. However, whenever I have seen other pregnant women at my doctor's appointments, not many of them are wearing bangles, so I don't think it's a tradition that is taken very seriously. As for myself, my bangles only lasted about a week. I just enjoy having my wrists free! I am a minimalist when it comes to jewelry.
Overall, I feel like Indian beliefs regarding pregnancy are a combination of medical advice and superstition or Hindu traditions. Sometimes it is hard to separate one from the other. Regarding physical exercise I remember several times during yoga classes asking myself, "Is this exercise based on exercise science or is it just tradition?" because some of the exercises we did don't intuitively seem good for you (like snorting vigorously in and out each nostril for 100 counts). I have asked the same question when thinking about things I've been told about being pregnant. And then I've thought, how many of my own beliefs about pregnancy are just American tradition? Who knows.
During our stay in India I have visited the doctor 1-2 times a month for check ups and have had 3 ultrasounds. My OB is considered to be the best in the state of Andhra Pradesh. When she enters the waiting room, everyone present stands. She has been very good to me. Her English is pretty good, but sometimes I still don't quite understand everything she is saying, and I don't think she understands everything I am saying. Luckily it has never really mattered as I have mostly been in good health while in India (I got sick from food once). At my checkups I have my blood pressure taken, I am weighed, and then I discuss with my doctor how I am doing. She examines my belly and listens for the heartbeat with a doppler. That is it. It costs 300 rupees, or approximately $5 for this.
My ultrasound experiences have also been good, besides the long waits. There are always a lot of women waiting for ultrasounds and they don't always go in line or in order. The ultrasound technology available here is similar to what was available in America in the '90s. So a little "behind" but good enough for getting the necessary information. Each ultrasound costs 800 rupees, or approximately $14. As many of you know, it is illegal in India for doctors to identify the gender of the fetus. This is because of the female abortion problem. Girls are seen as trouble because of the sometimes all-consuming costs of dowry. Indians will go into grave financial debt because of dowry. When parents are in financially desperate situations, they may be tempted to abort a girl. I think it's a lot better now generally, but the law is still in place.
Anyway, I was told that they may make an exception for us because we are not Indian citizens, so I decided to ask my doctor while he was doing our last ultrasound. The doctor was hesitant at first, but I reiterated that we were foreigners and guests in this country. I also told him I would be very discreet about it. He asked if any child would be welcome in our home, like he needed reassurance, and I gave a resounding yes. I told him that in America, gender does not matter when it comes to excitement about a new baby. He said he knows this, as he apparently worked in Pittsburg for many years. At the end of the ultrasound, he told us we would be having a girl. Since then we have not told anyone in India except our fellow BYU students that we are having a girl. If news were to spread around our neighborhood that our doctor had told us the gender, they might trace that back to the hospital we go to, and then to the doctor. People in our neighborhood love to observe and gossip about us, and so if news got out that I knew I was having a girl, it would spread fast. I would feel forever guilty if that doctor were to suffer any consequences for telling us. But most likely that will not happen, thankfully.
As I have said before, the heat and the food have been my biggest challenges while being in India. Although, if I could rank them I would put food first, because I have been adjusting to the heat quite well actually. My skin likes the humidity. But I have craved American foods to the point of dreaming about them. Even though the food here is good, some of the flavors I have simply never gotten used to. And it's not even that they're spicy, it's just the flavor combinations. Some foods I really like, particularly foods served at dinner. For lunch we have daal and rice everyday and I have had to get used to the monotony of that. In America, women are almost expected to completely pamper themselves while pregnant, for the sake of their sanity and their baby. Midnight smoothie run? "Sure!" You're craving a specific pizza from a specific place today? "Go get it! And don't feel bad about it!"
During this first pregnancy, I have not had the privilege of being able to pamper myself the way I see other pregnant women pampering themselves (thank you, Facebook...), and so I have had to let go of that expectation. I have had to just trust that I am eating well enough, because although in many respects I think we eat healthier here compared to America, I am missing the variety of raw vegetables and protein sources we have in America. I have had to exercise faith that God is taking care of me and I will be okay. My blood levels are normal. I have gained 6-7 pounds in the last 2.5 weeks. Our ultrasounds show that our baby is healthy as can be. From going off of that information, I have to trust that I am okay and not worry about the little comforts I am missing. Psychologically this has been difficult, but every day I think I am strengthened by the Lord's grace to bear my little trials.
Sometimes I wonder what we have done by taking this risk of being in a foreign country while pregnant! If some emergency happened, I'm not sure what kind of care would be available. But then I remember that Craig and I felt good about coming here and that God is in charge and will take care of us and our baby. I just have to trust that. We have about 2 weeks left and I know I can do it. I am striving to live in the present and enjoy the blessings of being here despite how eager I am to be home again, with the comforts of family and good food (I'm kind of obsessed with food right now) around me. I want to be positive and not just endure the next 2 weeks, but enjoy them to the extent that I can.
Thank you family members and friends who have been so supportive throughout this experience we've been having! We feel your love and concern and are so grateful for you : ) If anyone has any specific questions, feel free to ask me! As you can tell, I can go on and on about this stuff : ) The culture here is fascinating to me.
